Miguel's Confirmation Photos (i swiped them from Vi-Zanne)



(On the walk to the church, James Manion and me...It was a beautiful day, and I was happy...but after walking 8 BLOCKS I was unhappy -- since had terrible blisters!)


Miguel and his Sponsor for his confirmation -- his 1st cousin once removed (aka his parent's cousin)




All of us in the gang who went to the confirmation...and no, that's not vi-zanne's baby, that's miguel's cousin, who was ADORABLE!




Me and Migs

Miguel and His cousins....the one on the right actually gave me a hug! :) (and then Nate told him to watch out, because I am a hug fiend who steals hugs from everyone... =P )



We had to wait for a while before we could be seated to eat...so we camera-whored a little

Vi and Me


Amanda, Me, Miguel



Asian Power! :)


No, I didnt really kiss migs.




CHEERS!
Rob and Teresa...the new couple in the group :P

Karl and Vi, the only non-Catholics on the trip.

Force feeding miguel because he refused to eat my fries while he waited for his food.


me displaying my talents :P

This week has been rough.
I had a bad experience yesterday, and what's worse, I couldnt keep it to myself...i'm a complainer. and so i wont complain about it here. Suffice it to say that I wasted a lot of time yesterday, and therefore was late starting my paper, and sat and read all the info Thursday night, and then woke up at 6am Fri morning and between 630am-930~10am I managed to finish a 5 page paper. sometimes i wonder at my own crazy amazingness. i wish i could plan ahead, and not do things so last minute. but i seem to work best under pressure -- so what to do?

today went to the induction dinner for Pi Sigma Alpha, the Pol Sci honor society. I was as usual, overdressed for the occasion (when am i not overdressed?...but then again, better over dressed than underdressed i suppose) it was a nice dinner...i sat with Marge (if you dont know Marge, she's the Admin Assistant for the Pol Sci Dept, and she's the best!) We hung out all evening (i told her I was latching onto her since i only knew her haha) got a cool certificate. anyway...funny story of the day: When I went to get my cert, marge tried to take my picture, and the guest of honor, when i was shaking her hand, says "oh wait. pose for a while...your mum is taking our picture" hahaha. so basically this Judge thought that red-haired irish marge was my mother. am considering giving marge a mothers day card before i leave now. haha.

Also, they had voting for offices of the honor society, and I am apparently, the new (something) secretary of the Chapter! (there were 2 kinds of secretaries, and i'm one...woah weird. especially since i didnt really know many of the other people...but it's another thing to write on my resume i guess)

When Marge sends me my picture I'll put it up on here.

THe weather is behaving, and it's going to be a busy week ahead. it's time for me to start packing up, because I have to hand stuff over to my brother when he comes to visit me on Sunday (it's his bday and i'm cooking him a big fancy dinner)

that's all from me for now. Sunday i have the history honors society. who knows who i'll know there.

i think i tend to gravitate towards older people. i have more in common/more to talk about with older people i feel. which is probably bad. if i cant talk to ppl my age. dont know what it is. i'm an old soul.

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Judge Rendell, Me, Dr Baglione (who's laughing because I couldnt figure out where to stand to take the picture...or about the fact that the Judge thought Marge was my mum)












My certificate...fancy


















My "mother" Marge :)

I'm living day to day, assignment to assignment. and interspersing my stressed out moments with little bursts of television to distract me from the trainwreck that is my organizational abilities. So day to day it is.
Last night stayed up to write a paper for Islam class (or rather stayed up till 230am and then went to bed and woke up by 7am to finish it by 10am...but who's counting?)
I can't talk about that paper right now, there are so many more pressing things that are disturbing me

1. I can't concentrate. I am so easily distracted, it really is not cool. whether it's reading fmylife.com, or watching some 25minute tv show to space out the chapters i have to read, i'm pretty sure i'm in deep trouble with my study habits. i really need to spend the week post exam week rebooting my system so that i can start my summer scholars set to be all studious. (ok fine, you and i both know that will be a tv-watching palooza) So for right now, i just have to kep my limits in mind, and know when to stop. (luckily fmylife doesnt get updated every 30 minutes...people stop posting after 10pmish, so i can get to work by then...curse whoever advertized for fmylife in their FB status. you know i do everything fb tells me to do!)

2. I'm hungry all the time. There is rarely an hour during which I do not
a) think about food
b) eat food
i'm going to assume it's about dehdeng and let it slide (wait. are there boys who read this blog. haha. poor you tmi.)

3. I crave spicy food. This one is pretty weird. I have this need to consume something spicy like ALL THE TIME. Especially when it's late and I'm trying to stay awake. that's when i hit the indian mango pickle, and the sambal belachan. yumyum, but not just eaten plain everyday..possibly 2ce a day. my stomach is protesting i think, but i'm eating plain yogurt to curb that. crazy confession: i just drank about 5 teaspoons of hotsauce. plain hot sauce (that's like tobassco a little bit) can you imagine that? what's wrong with me?

Maybe I have the same problem Buffy did in this video...(minus the whole coming back from the dead because my friends resurrected me to fight the forces of darkness and they thought i was in hell when i was really in heaven)

I can't seem to be able to concentrate. Maybe it's the taste of the finish line. I can see it, it's in sight, but I'm losing sight of the hurdles I have to jump before I reach that finish line -- 2 weeks of class = 5 papers due, and 1 week of exams = 5 finals, till May 9th when I'll be FREE (for 1 week before I have to return to school for summer scholars program :P)
So I've been trying to read this book for Islam and it's not really absorbing into my brain, and the paper is due tomorrow...i have to finish this book asap. :( and read for all the other classes i have to read for. but i'm remembering my resolution to give up complaining all the time!

So on brighter notes...
On Sunday I did something for the first time ever ... I dye-ed eggs! (Easter style) Basically you hardboil eggs and then decorate them on the outside with dye. (pictures below). Sam Attenborough was so sweet, she heard Vi and I had never done it before, so she invited us over and was our host/guide in this exciting "American" experience...haha...when I mentioned how we at home make CHOCOLATE eggs, everyone wanted to drop their hardboiled eggs and run to asia for those chocolate eggs! haha. also, by some coincidence, we were dye-ing eggs on the day of Orthodox Easter (Easter for the Eastern churches who work on a slightly different calendar)


Our Handiwork!












Me and the 2 eggs I made...psychedelic!










Was listening to Pandora today ( I love Pandora...you can create "stations" of music you like...if you are not in the US, use jango.com, it's the same idea, but not as awesome) Anyway, was pandroa-ing, and Matt Maher came on (Matt whom I love since I heard him at WYD and he made me cry with his great performance and great words)


Empty and Beautiful is actually about St. Paul...so here are the Lyrics:


Lyrics to Empty And Beautiful :
My past won't stop haunting me
In this prison there's a fight between
Who I am and who I used to be

This thorn in my side is a grace
For because of it the flesh and blood of God
Was offered in my place, my place

You fought the fight in me
You chased me down and finished the race
I was blind but now I see
Jesus You kept the faith in me

Where did my best friends go?
In my defense they disappeared
Just like Your friends did to You, oh Lord

But You were there, You gave me strength
So this little one might come to know
The glory of Your name, Your name

You fought the fight in me
You chased me down and finished the race
I was blind but now I see
Jesus You kept the faith in me

Awaiting, set apart like incense to Your heart
A libation I'm pouring out
Empty and beautiful, beautiful, beautiful

You fought the fight in me
You chased me down and finished the race
I was blind but now I see
Jesus You kept the faith in me

You fought the fight in me
You chased me down and finished the race
I was blind but now I see
Jesus You kept the faith in me
Jesus You kept the faith in me
Savior, You kept the faith in me
[ Empty And Beautiful Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

It's funny how this song touched me when I heard it, and when I went to check it, it was actually about St Paul (funny because Matt Maher talked about St Paul during the concert in Melbourne, and what he said made me cry ...)

So it's time for me to write something real.
This past weekend was Miguel's Confirmation, which really got me thinking back to my own confirmation, which was almost 5 whole years ago. It seems pretty unbelievable.
As I wrote to Miguel, I reflected on the past 5 years, and how they have been a great journey of discovery to get me to this point, when finally, I am secure in my faith, and I believe, a full participant in the Church community.
(With an humble heart I can admit here that I avoided that sacred sacrament of reconciliation for the past 5 years, until this year when, in the middle of the Holy Week, I managed to find the courage and the grace to take me to the confessional and come back to a reconciled relationship with God. How blessed am I that I have met especially through the past year, so many people who are on fire with their faith, who experience God in their lives daily, who centre their lives and relationships around God. It was these wonderful people that inspired me to search my soul and come back fully to God. And how hypocritical I felt to have people think I was a good Catholic when for so long when there was this dark shadow over my heart as I feared the love that is expressed in that amazing Sacrament. That hymn I would sing as a child in Goa now echoes in my ears "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back" Having encountered God so fully in the sacrament of reconciliation --to the point that I wept through the confession and penance for I felt so lucky to be forgiven--I know there is no turning back, and that I will make sure to water the spiritual garden, that it may bloom well!)
I still struggle everyday, because I am not very courageous -- I dont feel I have the courage to speak up and speak out. So often I am willing to just smile and let things slide, even when they go so contrary to what I believe in -- for fear of offending others; for fear of spoiling a relationship; for fear of having people think badly of me; for fear that my words will misrepresent my faith. Fear. Fear. Fear.
Notice only one of the fears is directly related to the faith. All the rest are selfish fears. For I know in my heart that no true friend should be offended by me being outspoken about my beliefs, just as I cannot be offensive when defending my beliefs. And aren't we most blessed when others revile us and think badly of us for our faith? But oh how hard it is to live like that! How much we want to be liked. I pray that I have the strength to speak the truth that I know.
So this is what I said to Miguel in his gift/letter (the gist of it)...
I said to Miguel, "I'm going to tell you things I wished people had told me when I had gotten confirmed" (I wish I had known more at my confirmation, I wish that I had realized how big a deal it was...I can't blame anyone else, my lack of strength in faith is my own fault)
So I baked Miguel brownies. and included 14 pieces of brownies in a little box that was attached to my card/letter.
And what does 14 mean?
This thanks to my little Compendium of the Cathecism of the Catholic Church (thanks WYD08!)
14 = 7 x 2 or 14 = 12 + 2

2: The two commandments of Love:
1. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
2. You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
7: The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit
1. Wisdom
2. Understanding
3. Counsel
4. Fortitude
5. Knowledge
6. Piety
7. Fear of the Lord
12: the twelve fruits of the Holy Spirit
1. Charity
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Generosity
8. Gentleness
9. Faithfulness
10. Modesty
11. Self-control
12. Chastity

So as a confirmed Catholic, I wished Miguel that his life be ever grounded in the 2 commandments of love, that he may gain the 7 gifts and manifest the 12 fruits.

But the brownies were still useful for a bigger story.
Brownies start out from humble ingredients: flour, sugar, cocoa, eggs, butter, milk and baking powder
and you wouldn't want to eat those ingredients by themselves now would you? (eeew to eating flour out of the bag...or raw eggs bleagh..and y'all know how I hate to drink milk) but what happens once all those ingredients are taken and mixed together? you get a delicious batter. the ingredients are not the same, because they have changed and become the batter. and the batter tastes pretty good. It even has the baking powder in it to make it rise just a little. but you know what? it's raw. (and my mum tells me that eating raw eggs will kill me) and you cannot just leave the batter as a batter (even though some people are content to just eat the batter) that batter started out with a purpose, and it's only when it goes into the fire of the oven that the baking soda is allowed to act fully, and it goes from raw batter to fully formed brownies!
Ok ok...so what does brownie batter have to do with confirmation? EVERYTHING! (free your mind and follow me here...) When you are baptized, you get all stirred up and changed. and you have th Holy Spirit in you (baking powder) that can help you rise a little over time. But it's when you get into the fire of the oven (confirmation) that the baking powder gets to work its magic, and you RISE! Confirmation takes a catholic from raw to help him/her fulfill his/her purpose! :)
(see i told you this was leading somewhere good!)
[and then i told miguel "from one brownie to another, I pray you rise in Christ on this your confirmation" -- haha get it? because we are 'brown'?]
So that was Miguel's confirmation gift from me! (I also included prayers by/to his patron saints, Gabriel (angel) and Ignatius (of Loyola).

we all took the train down to the city and walked AGES to the church (in high heels for me...bad call) and went to Mass...and then went out to dinner and had tons of screaming/laughing fun.

But about that Mass. it was pretty amazing. This weekend was Divine Mercy Sunday, and also the Sunday where we remember St Thomas' doubts....and I really loved what the Bishop said in his homily. Key things that I took away from my own meditation on the reading, and the Bishop's homily:
1. God (Jesus) wishes us PEACE. That simple yet powerful greeting that we must pass on to others
2. There was reference to the beauty/validity of the confessional! (those who's sins you loose, they are loosed, those who's sins you bind, they are bound)
3. No closed door can keep Jesus out. not even the closed door to our heart! (This was what the Bishop said that almost moved me to tears in the church!) How true this is! What good news it is! And as Matt Maher wrote in his song, "I'll leave a light on for you my Lord!" How I hope that I can also leave the door open!
4. Jesus helps us in whatever way we need even in our times of doubt. He knew what Thomas needed to believe. And he knows when we falter. Pray that we may be willing to see the signs and shout "My Lord and My God!"

Oh golly...I've gone on for a while. Hope I haven't turned you (the reader) off with my religiosity. This is my first step in becoming more courageous about my beliefs.I pray that someday soon I'll have the courage to defend myself in a face to face dicussion.

<3 Jo

I'm back here again! :) (probably because Roach said she read my blog, and i remembered I hadn't written in a while)
I stopped writing in Europe, just because I had so many stories to tell, and I was determined to write them chronologically and fully -- but maybe all stories do not need to be told, except the ones I feel at the moment of the writing. That tale that compels me to put my fingers to the keyboard, the tale that, the telling of which, is cathartic to me as much as it is entertaining to you (if it ever is).
(so as you can see I've been watching too much Frasier)
Since my last post, I went to the lovely Paris, visited my family in Portugal for 10days, and then had crazy exams etc, before going home to Singapore for a whirlwind week then on to Goa, for an AMAZING Christmas and New Year, then back to Singapore for 8 days of shopping and packing and then flying back to the US for school...
Where I am right now. And the semester is almost over. Just a couple of weeks left, and everything is racing past now -- papers papers papers galore :(
This Summer I'll be here in the US for a summer scholars program (research work with a mentor)
That's the catchup for now. So keep a lookout for more posts soon. There's a lot going on in this head of mine that needs to be said ;)
<3 Jo